who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize