Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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