dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
