He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
