Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
