Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
