you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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