Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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