I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
