I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
