Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize