I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
