i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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