hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
