I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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