so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He has the fingertips of a God
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