We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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