I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
