In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There r osticjed everywhere
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
