I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
