Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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