I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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