come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
