We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
