I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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