I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
