I'm really into asian looking animals
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
