I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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