i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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