Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
