Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
