i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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