I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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