Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
