are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Randomize
