grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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