i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize