im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
