so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
nut hugger
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
