You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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