Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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