They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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