I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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