She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
