WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
