I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
