amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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