a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
