Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh god it's open bar.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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