What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
