Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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