Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You may now shotgun with the bride
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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