his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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