from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
