ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
