I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
