someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
