there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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