I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i now understand why vodka
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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