Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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