So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
