Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
